If you haven't yet, please install this security fix.

---

The Dan-man and I went out to an all-you-dare-eat buffet for Sushi/Thai/Chinese, and it was actually quite good. Afterward, we swung by Crabby Jacks to solve his caffeine needs and Miranda got a pretty awesome tip ($5 after a bill for $0.69 - the coffee was free and I had a draft) - after we hung out a bit and chitty-chatted. I told him a bit about my beliefs regarding meeting someone for a lifelong commitment at this point (I suspect odds of meeting someone that I have chemistry with, a minimum of emotional baggage, and a mutual appreciation of one another to be very, very, very slim.) Explained to him why Magda wasn't a viable option, though she and I did have a nice time together. I honestly don't know if there are any wedding bells in my future, but If I were a betting man, I know that I'd opt for "not likely." I know good couples are out there... Dave & Cathi / GrayPumpkin & Katt are two of the best examples of two pairings as well-suited for one another for life that I can think of.

In the last decade, I've had the following serious relationships:

Lees - 6 months
Eryn - 3 months
April - 4 months
Rachel - 6 months
CEJ - 2ish years, Almost 3 if you count on and off time
D - A bit over a year
Mel - 3 months
Magda - 5 months (9 minus the months where she was in Columbia)

Come to think of it, I don't have any trouble getting dates... it's the longevity that needs work. Breakups are fairly even, an assortment of reasons, from a lack of trust to a lack of interest.

Hair-wise, we've got a Blond x2, Brown x3, Black x2, and a Redhead
Tattoo-wise - 6 had ink.. some got it while I was with 'em.
Politics/Attitudes - Leftx2, Modx4, Rightx2
Readers - 4 yes, 4 no
eye color - Brown - 5 Hazel -1 Blue - 2
all were fairly chesty

I've been proposed to on two different occasions, and I honestly thought I'd end up with CEJ for life... she was the last one that gave me those sorts of feelings.

Looking back, I do pretty well, for a serial monogamist with no vehicle of his own.

Dan got me a few very nice gifts for Christmas.... No Software this year. A used book on dinosaurs, a new copy of Pratchett's Last Hero, a t-shirt and a zip-up shirt (both too small, unfortunately), a carrying case for a digital camera/palmtop, and some jalepeno peanuts. We tried out the Peking House restauant, but it had a bad vibe, so we went to the one we're more fond of dining at.

---

Moment of Lyric - mp3 / flash video (Here's his LJ, by the way - trapezzoid)

( ... )
This is boring... Yes, I'm falling,
but it's taking quite a while.
My destination is impending.
Might as well go out in style.
I put my arms out to the skies,
whistle a tune and close my eyes,
trying to briefly realize perpetual motion.
( ... )

---

Big Hole Simulator

Uses the Google Maps API to tell you where you'd end up if you started digging a hole through the Earth at a certain geographic point. (thanks, qdot!)

---

1 year ago - Started using my paypal to go to charity, carnivore pigeons, Video-time with Mel, newt pics, prosperity gospel

2 years ago - outing review, saw Val & Rhonnie, google specific search, Bollywhat, missing the big mob poll answerers

3 years ago - linky linky, one word, communications breakdown begins, nifty flying guy, Belgians link to me, Dave's clutch breaks, cold mountain movie being mad

4 years ago - rumors, comparing haunted house stories, smudge sticks (note to self, get more stuff to make more), defleshing (another news article gone...inspires me to put all my news articles behind lj-cuts for future ref) and naptime (naptime pix overwritten by other archive images)

5 years ago - dead phone, feeling love grow, Viet beer at the mall, lj & IM trouble

Pretty much just waiting on the judgement on Suzy's case. A little worried. I got a letter from April last night... explained a few things, and I'm glad she's getting her head in order.

weirdness in technology right now, my email is echoing big time from egroups, all my mailing list stuff is landing in 2 or three of my bins at once. bah.

getting an employee at work repremanded for surfing porn at work. tsk.

My e-mail address got fouled. Please send any future correspondence to -

scottobear@livejournal.com

thanks!

Well, April is gone. 5 hours toward Utah at this writing. A good thing for her I think, and for me too. I'm feeling some separation anxiety, which surprises me, I guess any change in habit is disconcerting. I hope I can maintain communication with her, but I'm guessing that she won't make the effort. We'll see, maybe she'll write or call. I'll keep my '3 shots then skip' rule.

Having privacy again is weird. I keep expecting someone to come home, or be late or something. But I'm alone with Newt now. Oh! That Reminds me, I need to set up the Newtcam again, now that I'm not stepping on anyone's private toes.

Where has mootpoint gone off too? I miss him. A good guy.

Suzy goes on her cruise starting next weekend. Hm. Just as well, I'd probably rebound at her with great velocity if she was around. I don't want that.

Danny is back at School teaching again... he's going to be quite busy.

Little Brother and I will get together, and I look forward to seeing Robby, and Dave, and Cathi, too.

Argh. Took out the net servers today, no net again, and I had to work tragically late.

I got home, checked my net logs here, and found that april was online atleast until 8 tonight, but when I arrived home at about 11:30, she was gone... I'm imagining she's spending the night with Ruth and whoever else from work. She mentioned something about that maybe happening earlier in the week. Curious, but not worried about it. I'm more concerned that she;s mixing alcohol with whatever meds she's taking.

For supper, spaghetti and eggplant parm, and a leftover kruller from this morning.

About 1/3 into Harry potter 3, and it seems pretty good.

Official Tomorrow Doings, Everway game, make plans with Bro for Sunday.

Looking with Gnutella for new books to read... running out of stuff fast. I need something clever, and that'll hold my interest. any ideas?

got my chinese food... sezuan tofu and veggies, extra spicy. very yummy.

My necklace with the fish vertebrae broke, so I'm going back to the hemp one with the bear charm.

April's been going out with folks form work, and drinking alcohol with her welbutrin. Idiot.
Dolt. Dumkopf. If she dies, I hope it's not at my apartment. The dumbass.

Went to the 5th annual Jerry Garcia Birthday bash in south Florida.

5 hours of grateful dead music, hippy food, and assorted fun stuff. Had a grand time. Discovered an ex-stalker (psycho-chick) got herself pregnant, and has a baby now! Hopefully this will keep Bev out of the running for hunting ol' Scotto down now, as she has something else to focus attention on.

Had vegan gumbo and potato salad, and penang Thai tofu for supper, some lemon cake & coffee while playing yahtzee with buddies Cathi & Dave. I enjoyed myself immensely.

I need to get ahold of Robby, H and Bri for lunch sometime next week. I've not seen or heard from them in a while. 12-8 tomorrow at work, then back to the 4pm to midnight shift again, once tuan returns. I'd love to keep the 12-8 shift, for just Fridays, if I could.
maybe 3 up, 2 down?

Seemed to get along very well with April today. Yay!

Little brother (6'6", and 29 in September is little?!?) got a job at a bar on Los Olas, something Amici. Looks like he's making about 85 a day on non-season, so that'll take good care of him, I feel.

All in all a good day. I need to go shopping to renew food supplies.

eating veggie-dogs, chatting with Zoe, and watching h2g2 on my old VCR.

food today:

3 veggie dogs
4 slices of black olive & mushroom pizza.

Items of interest to me.

Caught April in 2 lies between the hours of 10pm and 12 PM tonight. 1 regarding how much she drank, another of her not eating my food. I didn't even challenge, because she is out of here in 3 weeks and counting. I don't care if she lies to me anymore, but she'd better not steal.

Newtie is grooming me, licking the back of my head! Good, lovey kitty.

Met my new everway group. Some nice folks, 3 slob-tech gamers, and one wife-gamer.

Jeffery - met over the net, he found me in a gamer's directory. Nice guy, as old as I am, married to Bee (Bridgett? Beatrice?) Used to service the machines where I work, and is GM. Kind enough to pick me up and take me home from the game. Seems to dash of on tangents, I imagine staying on topic during the game will be a challenge, but not impossible, fortunately that doesn't bug me much. 31

Bee - South African, very pleasant, entertaining & gracious. She seems to enjoy my quirks (all of them came up tonight, it seems, from vegetarianism, carelessness, to waving at graveyards.) was amused by some of my stories, and her Afrikaans is close enough to German that we could make silly comments. Met husband over IRC, net wedding. :) 23

Joe - Seemed nice, didn't get a strong vibe, still new to rpg, looks to be suffering a bit from tech burnout. has a palm IIIE 24

Chris?(not sure of name) The only skinny one of us, witty, and quick to adapt to most social behaviors. He's the gamer who quotes python, makes squirrel and slug comments, and is a primary distraction during the game. I'm sure I'll get on well with him. 22

Aleria (Bee's visiting sister from Italy) Cute young lady, fond of train spotting and ewen macgregor, Speaks buckets of languages, and is quite polite and conversant, even though her English is a bit broken. 17

I think I came off as 'mentor-man' or maybe 'overbearing man' depending on the person. I maintained politeness and helped out where possible, tried not to step on conversations, but may have. It's funny, I'm confident the girls like me, and Chris, but am not terribly sure of Joe and Jeffery. (they probably did too, just didn't get a strong congenial vibe)

Many good characters.

I ended up giving in to my cravings, and scarfed down 3 veggie-dogs for supper, with a cup of total corn flakes for dessert. (no milk, just flakes...)

Today, I had a bagel & butter, a 10 oz bottle of chocolate milk, and will have 2 pseudo ham & cheese hot pockets for lunch, still soda-free, and not missing it that much.

Thanks JennyLee for linking to me! I have the Canadian Babe(tm) market swept, between Gina and you! More's the pity that all the good gals seem to be in love with another, buckets of miles away or both. Tsk.

I'd love to host a mass LJ exodus to Disneyworld or Universal, and have my friends all come down and play in the Sunshine state... Maybe someday. It'd be great to see you folks in the skin.

I didn't do my walkies this morning, as I was lazy, and it was raining to boot. Thunder and Lightning, very very frightning today. power flickers and skies darken, but I still work in my little cubicle, I bet Newton is going nutty. April was still at the apt when I left, so turning on Newtcam was inappropriate... Hopefully she's playing with him and treating him nice... keeping him kitty-calm.

Last night I was really in a sourball mood when I got home, and April was weirdly manic, talking to the tv and commenting quite a bit, while I grunted, or worked on work stuff from the computer. Eventually I chilled out but was still mildly grumpish for the rest of the night... I think due to my new schedule, my sleep is making me a little duller than I might've been. Regardless, the funk lifted this morning.

Talked to my Little brother, and he gave me a lead on a new job off los olas in ft lauderdale... programming gig at Omni Graphics. Sounds good, and gives me an excuse to polish my resume for sportsline too... I don't know about SPLN.... thebennies are ok, but being locked in gfor a year to get 'em might be too much of a disadvantage. $$? Have to think.

Music - Frank Sinatra, by Cake
Mood - Scattered

Today, I ate - bad things, mostly.

Corn Chips and salsa, tasty!
about a gallon of water, 4 slices of big Louie's pizza, 3 iced-teas with lemon, no sugar.
1 pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream
some weird Brazilian coconut/pineapple/cookie dessert thing.
No soda! :)

Lots of stuff done today, went to Kmart with April to get stuff for her trip north, ended up just getting a duffel. (Well, she got it, I bought chips & salsa. ) I cam close to buying a shirt at Kmart, but realized I needed money for the next week (My ride won't be able to drive me, so I'll be taking a cab in to work) and so, I'm out of luck, having to spend an additional $40 tooling to work. Bah. After Kmart, I called my brother up, but he was out looking for work, I think he got a job at Border's Bookstore, near where Ray lives, and the art theatre where I met April. Funny thing, he applied there, and probably saw Evette, Chase or Joe... who knows? I know he wants a job that'll get him at least $400 a week, preferably more. I don't know if he'll get that in those places, but at least he'll have some play money during his search. Anyhow, late in the day, I managed to hook up with him, and we went to see Me, Myself and Irene, which was funny, in a gross out way, much better in the first half. after the movie, we hit big Louie's and talked for a long time... It's very nice to have him around again. We're thinking of getting together 3x a week, for a workout regimen, but not until he has his hours worked out, of course.

I really enjoyed talking with Derek. Ideally, we'll get to be closer, and spend more time with one another, now that he lives a 15 minute drive from me, instead of an 18 hour flight.

Watching the mystery of the desert mummies on discovery, hosted by john malkovitch, and then will hit the sack.

Well, last night, I went with buddy Dan to see X-Men. (my 2nd time, his first), since I got out of the job early, I actually was able to do some socializing tonight... got an offer to see the patriot with Robby & Co, but I've already seen it a few times, anyhow, and wasn't up to another 3 hour extravaganza. A shame, really, because I'd hav eliked to see the gang... but they'd have been in the dark, and shtum the whole time, too.

I was bad yesterday foodwise. Before going to see the movie, Danny & I went to Hops, my first time there, even though it's pretty close to the house & the theatre. I got 2 alligator ales, a local microbrew which was tasty and not too bitter. With that, I got an order of Jalapeno poppers and a baked potato with chives, sour cream, and butter. Yum. Fattening, but yum. For lunch, I had 2 slices of cheese pizza from Pizza Hut (Sorry hungry howies, they ordered it from work. Upside, if I had gotten it from HH, I'd have had more than 2 slices.) I drank a total of 12 liters of water, and I think I absorbed almost all of it. It's odd, but 2 beers can make me want to pee, but that much water is shrugged off, for the most part. Of course, I was sweating profusely during my walk this morning, so I'm guessing that's where it ran off to.

got back on schedule, walked my 5 mile walk, after missing it yesterday.

I suspect ol' April's reading my journal, not that I mind, terribly. Either her, or Newton's surfing the net when I'm not home. :)

oh! off to work! D'oh! the Newtcam'll be up for a while, at least until April gets home.
(as soon as I call for a ride. )
www.scottobear.com/newtcam/newtcam.html

Well, one month until April is gone. I suspect that it will be the end of all communications between us, and that I'm a dingaling for letting her stick around so long. Her existance in my apartment is cramping my style quite a bit, and causing me undue amounts of stress. Taking it as well as can be expected, and making some (maybe not my every) effort to make things run smoothly until then. Weirdly, now that I'm available again, my driver-pal Suzy is being much friendlier and is acting as a pleasant ear to bend when I want to talk about whatever. I imagine she's interested in dating, but I'm not even going to think about that sort of thing until after April is out of the apartment (which might be causing some of the stress, now that I reflect on it) . Why I'm allowing April to remain in my place for so long is still a mystery to me... Now that I know she has a place to go, I'm not so worried about giving her the boot. Sakes, I'm going to stop typing about it because it's just irritating me.

**New Topic**

I finished the first Harry Potter book, and it was cute (downloaded the text files for the first 3 into my palm pilot, to give me something to read during my longer walks, bus rides, lines, and whatnot.) It was cute, pretty entertaining, and I would reccomend it to most readers as good young adult fantasy, not as good in my opinion as Narnia or Middle-earth books, but beats most other fantasy with a big blunt club. I'm exactly 4% into the 2nd book, and it looks to be as solid as the first so far. (I love reading on the palm, and the fact that gnutella lets me download all manner of books gratis.) I haven't seen the 4th book out there yet for download, but I imagine that by the time I get to reading it (I'm alternating Harry Potter with Middle Earth, in prep for the coming movies), it should be available. It's odd, but I can't recall the last time I paid for a book, between the library or freetext, I think I only get books of text for others for holidays like christmas, Birthdays whathaveyou, and recieve them for same.

Why don't more people go to the library? I figure if I read a book, and want it to read again, then I'll go back to the library and get it... If I know I'll want to keep it (Like for about a dozen books I read, and reread over the years) I'll buy 'em, or ask for 'em for my b'day. How many folks out there have books that they read over and over, I wonder?

Here's mine.

The main Middle Earth books, (Hobbit & the big 3)
The Bible (KJV)
The Apocrypha
Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, and some of his other works too.
The Elder Eddas (Norwegian Folklore)
Grimm's Fairy Tales (The *BIG* honking book. It's like 1000 pages, and each story is between 1/2 page and 20 pages long.)
Godel Escher Bach (recently added to the rotation, only read it about 3 times, so far)
Dandilion Wine by Ray Bradbury
The Collected Mark Twain

I know I'm forgetting one or two. The Tao of Pooh comes to mind, I'm overdue reading that. and there's a few others that I'll trip over here and there and reread, like my Doc Savage books, or silly comic book digests.

*phew* That's enough for me for now. See you kids later.

Okie everyone, here's the shmeer.

April will be taking a bus back to Utah Aug 20. I figure I can be civil and nice enough to let her stay at my place until then, even though I had been hoping for my place back to basics. No further delays will be accepted, however. 7x the expected delay is long enough. I won't be able to tolerate any more, even though we've been getting along.



I will be running my webcam for quite a little while for two reasons.

1. to spy on newton, I know that april will throuw a baseball cap or something over it when she gets home, as I've told her it'll be running.

2. hopefully I'll get to make an animated gif or avi out of the stream, and see what a stop-motion show of the day'll look like. :) I'll be archiving on the net on the off-chance 'someone' decides to rip me off, so I'll have photgraphic evidence of times of whatever. Is that petty of me? My trust levels are low with her, but I think this is a fair way to keep her honest.

Do Whatever, but please don't lie or steal from me. Is that too much to ask?

This morning I get up late. (nice long snooze. felt good...it was needed.) I wake up about 11ish, and notice April is still in the house. She's not interested in going out to get something to eat, instead opts to drop $16 on a bucket of delivered chicken and a 2 liter of soda. (Mind you, she only has a couple of bucks socked away to find another apartment, pay bay $0 to her old roomies, etc.) To add insult to injury, after getting out of the shower this morning, I went through my posckets to gather my cash together. It wasn't there. Upset, I begin to dig through my laundry basket, on the off-chance that it fell out of my pocket. No dice. Visibly irritated, I plop down on thne floor, and begin to go through all my stuff inch by inch until I can dig up my money. The first thing I do is check all the pockets of all the clothes in the basket, including my Khaki's agin, on the off chance I missed it the first time. April asks what's going on, and I tell her that some how my money has magically vanished from my clothes-pockets. She asks if I maybe left it at work, but that's impossible as I took a cab home last night, and had to pay the guy. Getting more angry by the moment, I start to go through things. again. She offers to help, and I tell her no thanks, unless she can find something that's not there. while my back is to her, she asks where I had it last, and I tell her again, that it was in my khakis, and she reccomends that I look again. I tell her that it would be pointless, as I've looked twice already. I look anyway, and lo and behold! My money is there. I confront her, and ask "Did you take it and put it back? Just tell me the truth" she denies it, and gets angry, and goes to take a shower. In the meantime, I'm really mad. If anyone asks me for money, I give it, freely, and don't worry about it's return. I figure this is the third "BIG LIE" I've caught her in, the first two being about job hunting, and not going through my stuff, not to mention the high probability of her going to the school the other day being a lie, just due to her being home so early. As I left for work, she was straightening up her things, and I hope that it means that she's going to be gone when I get home. (Ideally, only her things will be gone, as I have the numbers of her parents, ex-roomies, boss, and so on in my palm, and on the computer. God help her if she rips me off. I'm still angry, but I think I'll feel lots better if I get home and there's nobody there. I'm going to call my buddy up now and see about changing locks, etc.

First off, thanks, mootpoint for adding me to your friends list! I've enjoyed your stuff for quite a while. :)

Second. April sounded sincere yesterday when she said she'd look for an apartment today. I was home until 2pm, and she didn't even get as far as changing out of her jammies. Fair enough, it's her day off, but I feel a bit upset that she's not making the effort. Ah well, She'll have considerably more $$ in 2 weeks, and if I have to, I'll find her a place myself. I just don't want to get into my standard catch-22. (Here's some help, I don't want help!, Well do it yourself! Don't tell me what to do! Ack.) I can feel the confrontation coming, I'll just gently push for a while, so it won't be totally unexpected, but I still feel like I'm being used. Feh.

third. I swear, I'm so delighted at the amount of support I've gotten from a number of you folks over the last little while. You guys really brighten my day, and bring me much joy in an otherwise dreary day. ***Big Hugs to Allayas***

Well, hours later I finally ordered supper... saw Scary Movie, and it was pretty weak, if you've seen all of the commercials, which show the majority of the funny bits. The rest was fairly mean-spirited, but there was one or two clever twists on the 'scream' theme. Overall, I'd give it 1/2 star, no stars if you've seen the commercials.

what to do, what to do...

the shop here on the homefront is already dark, and my roommate is in bed. I'm just up chatting online with the lovely and talented Erin, while munching on a peanut butter bagel. Aprils listening to her new tape, otherwise laying there quietly. Newton left my lap for the windowsill, even though it's dark out... I imagine he wanted more stable footing.After gabbing, I now want to get back more into music. I think I'll pick up a recorder too... something more quiet than the loudies I play. maybe something hand-sized. (a guitar is great, too.. )