November 22nd, 2000

scotto monkeypulse

I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now...

I've been very blessed this last year or two. A strong case of the even stevens has hit me, which is much nicer than the constant pummeling I seemed to get in the years before that. I had a lousy decade from 1987-1997. Many foul things happened in that timespan, certainly more than is fair. I was a much more sinister person at the beginning of that time too... something I can be happy about is that I think I'm much nicer now, and suspect that in a large part it was because of those things I had to deal with. There's still a few stinky things going on, but for the most part, life is good. I have a swell group of friends, my brother is in town, I'm self-sufficient, have recently met the most divine lady, have a swell little roommate in Newton, met some remarkably sweet and kind folks here, and the vast majority of bad influences on my life are elsewhere now. I've gotten more writing done, met quite a broad spectrum of people, all of whom taught me something of value... even if they might not have realised it.

Crimson flames tied through my ears
Rollin' high and mighty traps
Pounced with fire on flaming roads
Using ideas as my maps
"We'll meet on edges, soon," said I
Proud 'neath heated brow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
'm younger than that now.

Half-wracked prejudice leaped forth
"Rip down all hate," I screamed
Lies that life is black and white
Spoke from my skull. I dreamed
Romantic facts of musketeers
Foundationed deep, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

Girls' faces formed the forward path
From phony jealousy
To memorizing politics
Of ancient history
Flung down by corpse evangelists
Unthought of, though, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

A self-ordained professor's tongue
Too serious to fool
Spouted out that liberty
Is just equality in school
"Equality," I spoke the word
As if a wedding vow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

In a soldier's stance, I aimed my hand
At the mongrel dogs who teach
Fearing not that I'd become my enemy
In the instant that I preach
My pathway led by confusion boats
Mutiny from stern to bow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.
  • Current Music
    It's all about the bob dylan tonight.
scotto monkeypulse

halcyon days...revised a smidge

*** GIVING THANKS ***

Thanksgiving is the best.

Thanksgiving is one last chance to dwell in an introspective, love-filled space before the rampant commercialism of Christmas turn us all into mall-dwelling spend-monkeys.

I am thankful for so much this year. I'm not sure if I have more to be thankful for, or if I'm simply learning to be more appreciative. But I'm thankful for damn near every synaptic impulse that hits my noggin through the day. From the taste of my morning coffee to the last letter of net-text, before I prepare for sleep.

I just feel so lucky to have consciousness. (A lot of the universe isn't nearly that lucky.) When I add in the love, joy, adventure and creative outlets in my life. I just have to pinch myself.

Thank you for being a part of my blessed life.
  • Current Mood
    Thankful