Went to see my brother last night, in a last ditch effort to support him emotionally and straighten his ass out. Things got pretty ugly, and stuff happened that I find to be beyond unbelievable. The bottom line is that while I may love him, I sure as hell don't like him very much. It's times like this that I'd like to swear off my family name and start a fresh one because I'm sick to death of who I'm related to. The Bro basically has done things worse to me than my mother ever did... If I was where I was at mentally even a couple of years back, I'd have disowned him without a second thought.
As it stands, I had a second thought, and he's still my brother. He's a stupid, creepy, vile fuck of a brother as far as my mind is right now, but he's my brother nonetheless. Half of my support is out of love for him, and the other half is keeping him where I can see him, lest I turn my back on a viper and be struck out of foolishness.
He knows where he stands with me.
That is the land of lost content
I see it shining plain
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.
-A. E. Houseman
-from "A Stropshire Lad"
I don't know if he can ever regain my trust. We'll see. Something amazing would have to happen. I've already forgiven him for being who he is and what he's done, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten.
I never thought the person that would raise so much bile in my throat would be my brother. Today I've gone from disappointed, to furious, to frightened, to enraged, to shaken. Right now, I'm very sad with a side of thoroughly disgusted. I had half a mind to call in sick today.
Enough of that, for now, though. Let's do some stupid links, dear journal.
A man is accused of applying Vaseline petroleum jelly to every surface in his room at a Motel Six near Binghamton, New York. ( Collapse )
I get all sorts of hits due to my last name being similar to the recent beheading victim overseas. Just since midnight (it's 7am now) I've had over 103 hits due to that alone. I still get more hits on the keyword "melons" than any other.
Singing Science Records - full MP3s for five classic science-themed folk albums
You can bet I leeched the whole page before it hits the bricks.
When did I get moved? scottobear is on Madcow, subcluster 3. Where are you? (last I saw, I was on Santa Sc3.. and before that, I was on Chef sc7. Are they calling me fat?)
You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky
What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
A year ago - Skull dream, Scooby-doo fun & book henge in There, Ghetto Fries?
two years ago - Pam got bell's Palsy that lasted for a bit. Ann and Bob have a disagreement. Beans. Gummi Bears vs. Fingerprint Sensors, Charlie's LJ mentioned.
three years ago - connubial, cadaverine, flamingos pink because they eat shrimp, tension thinking
four years ago - Journal will be born in 1 day.