August 15th, 2015

scotto monkeypulse

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Have you ever thought about why 7 ate 9? People tend to ignore this fact and jump straight to conclusions. Hell, I would to if I heard that 7 ate 9. But have you ever asked 7? Have you ever taken the time to think about maybe why he did this? What led to such a seemingly horrible and unethical action? I didn’t think so. 7 gets way too much shit for this, on top of the mental anguish that comes with eating another one of the single digits.

So the story goes like this. 1 through 9 were all pretty good counters, they all got a long, and they all had fun together. They chilled on the number line next to each other ever since base 10 came to be. Then on a trip to Peru, they were flying over the Andes mountains and something very tragic happened. Their plane engines failed and they ended up crashing into the mountain and freezing for many days. 9 was a skinny guy, high metabolism, always had to eat a lot. When the numbers ran out of food, 9 was the first to starve to death. 7 hadn’t eaten in the longest time compared to the other numbers that were still alive. He had given his last bit of chocolate to number 1. So he was pretty hungry and upset at this point and certainly wasn’t in the right state of mind.

So 7 ate 9 in order to survive and get the strength he needed to help the other numbers back down the mountain. If 7 hadn’t done what he did, the other numbers may not have survived. And 7 certainly would not have. So, the next time you go laughing about how 7 ate 9, take a minute to think about the situation he was in when he made this decision.

Originally published at The Scotto Grotto. You can comment here or there.