Raj KAJ (scottobear) wrote,

So, this is the anniversary of my dad’s death

He died at 42, and had me at 23.

I’m in a place where he has been dead longer than I knew him alive. Little things still remind me of him, some good, some bad, most incredibly neutral, like the sound of my cough, or seeing a boxing match / a certain type of Corvette on the road / a reference to Jaques Cousteau. 

I’m old enough to have a 23 year old kid with a newborn,  if I had one when he did, and my kid had one at the age dad did. Does that math make sense? 

How the heck does someone have a kid at 23, with a 21 year old wife? 

I’m way too neurotic about the cats *now* to have a kid, let alone a grandkid. If my imaginary child had an imaginary child, my dad and mom would be great-grandparents. 

Hard to do the “my age compared to his age” thing anymore. I can’t really transfer that to Mom or an uncle, it is a different vibe. 

Today, I’m not really missing him… he’s just not around any more. Not depressed, just contemplating. 

Originally published at The Scotto Grotto (org). You can comment here or there.

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